There has been plenty of occasions that I’ve spoken about my origin, my culture, my religion; basically, my roots. However, there is plenty more that I would love to share and is deeper than my passion of talking about Me 😊
Most of those who know me know that I am from Shillong and what the place has to offer ‘cause I talk too much about it but in reality, even I have never opened myself completely to why I am proud of who I am and what my roots and culture teaches me in each moment of my life. There are many parts to understand what I am or who I am. Since most of my friends have asked me to keep my writing short; I will break this into a series of short conversations. Don’t drop off yet. I bet you will find it interesting. 😊
So here goes a little bit of what I learned growing up with my beloved grandparents. Do note that these are my learnings and there would be others who would challenge me for this but I stand by me 😉
The Hearth
I am a Khasi. The Khasis follow a matrilineal society which means the lineage is from the mother. The reason we rejoice so much when a baby girl is born. (It is not to be confused with a matriarchal society.) However, even though everything in the household is taken care by the matriarchs; the maternal uncles are the most important members of the family. Each decision that concerns the family is taken by the eldest maternal uncles. I will discuss the importance of Maternal Uncles later on. (Though there are groups who deny the fact that men are the most important members in the family).
I grew up in a joint family and it was not only loud all the time but what I learned with the time spent with my grandparents is incomparable to anything else. I had five aunts and five uncles. It was not difficult for me to understand that if a family has both sons and daughters, the elder ones and the sons move out of their mother’s house and go on to live separately. Men post marriage move out and live with their wives, opposite to the rest of the world.
The men while they are bachelors, the earnings that they receive through their jobs are given to their mothers and it is called Ka Kamai Nongkhynraw. This stops once they have a family of their own. Some may still continue the tradition even if they move out.
While the older children move out from their parents’ nests once they start their own families, the youngest daughter, she is the most precious offspring of the family! She is known as the Khatduh and she doesn’t move out! Surprise surprise 😊
I love it when people discuss the Khatduh (not just ‘cause I am a Khatduh as well). It is because most of what I’ve read outside is that the Khatduh inherits all the property of the family.
Well, those who believe this are completely wrong!
Let me explain:
The Khasis call their family property Ka Nongtymmen. The Khatduh, however doesn’t inherit any family property. She is the caretaker! She will take care of old parents, siblings who are unmarried and if there are relatives who need support, she will need to step up and provide the care that is required and expected of her even if she has a family of her own. Also, we need to know that Ka Nongtymmen passes on from one generation to another. (This I believe most Khasis don’t get the concept for there are men’s organisations who want lineage be traced from them so that they inherit the family property.)
But with the world changing and families being nucleated, it solely depends on each family how they divide their property or their wealth. It is sad to see that most of the unique traditions are slowly fading away.
To not end on a sad note let me cheer you up with something completely unrelated 😜
I was relieved when my doctor took the baby from my womb and showed me my child after my CS. “Phew! I said to myself. Thank God it’s a girl.” I love boys too but I am just bias.
The next story won't be as long as this. I promise you won't get bored! 😉
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